I wrote a journal entry recently which I was able to attach to this blog (hooray technology success!!). Essentially, the premise was that I fear the stillness. I am so apt to distract myself from slowing down that I then find myself anxiously running from one place to the next. This is no good.
The journal entry will explain more, but essentially I was in a car accident two weeks ago that forced me into stillness. This forced stillness- along with the pain- brought with it lots of time to reflect and look ahead. I came to realize how I had become so busy serving God that I lost sight of the love of God. I came to a place of inner heartbreak as I realized that I have pushed aside my times of quiet, solitude, and reflection before the Lord for work and ministry. Luckily, this God that I serve is not one to let me run my own way for long. He came in the perfect time- through a variety of sources- to lift me up and refocus my heart.
The Bible says that God is good, He is for us, and He will work out all things for good. Sometimes this is hard to believe. For me, it has been a time of burn out. I began coming to awareness in this a month back at a conference. So, thanks to the wisdom of a sweet "momma" figure, I released some commitments and began to breathe. However, I still was feeling worn. As I stood in the worship room last night I found myself looking at a woman and wanting to pray for her. However, in just thinking of praying for this lady I began to cry myself. I am weak and I am worn. I need refreshing from Jesus.
The Bible says, "He gives power to the faint,
and to him who has no might he increases strength.
Even youths shall faint and be weary,
and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
they shall walk and not faint." (Isaiah 40:29-31) I am called to hold Jesus at His Word. As I thought about burn out I have thrown out the ideas- I need a 3
month vacation; I need to move back in with family for a year; I need a dog; I need to move to the country; etc. I had the thought that if I could only move, my burn out would be healed. Then, the more I thought about these ideas the more I would know that time away from work, moving, etc would not truly change the feelings of being worn. I need a full refreshing from Jesus. I need him to refresh my soul, to give me strength, to rise me up on the wings of eagles. So, I asked. Last night at the LIT (#LPMlit) Conference I asked. I got healed from the pain from my whiplash; and I have fresh hope and perspective in moving forward. I have a renewed unction to lean on God and not my own work; I have a renewed fear of going my way over God's way; of following a path out of distraction by good and not God's best.
I am choosing to start each day by leaning into my Father. By talking to my Savior. By receiving the comfort, the wisdom, and the revelation by the Spirit. I serve a Mighty God- a God who is for me and for His glory. A God who will not leave me nor forsake me. A God who calls me His. I am choosing to flee from burnout and eventual collapse by prioritizing the loving relationship with my God.
I will not fear the stillness. I will slow down. And in the slowing down, it is here that I will rise up on wings as eagles. My strength will be renewed. My God is for me. He is for you. I will hold him at His Word. I will WAIT.
The journal entry will explain more, but essentially I was in a car accident two weeks ago that forced me into stillness. This forced stillness- along with the pain- brought with it lots of time to reflect and look ahead. I came to realize how I had become so busy serving God that I lost sight of the love of God. I came to a place of inner heartbreak as I realized that I have pushed aside my times of quiet, solitude, and reflection before the Lord for work and ministry. Luckily, this God that I serve is not one to let me run my own way for long. He came in the perfect time- through a variety of sources- to lift me up and refocus my heart.
The Bible says that God is good, He is for us, and He will work out all things for good. Sometimes this is hard to believe. For me, it has been a time of burn out. I began coming to awareness in this a month back at a conference. So, thanks to the wisdom of a sweet "momma" figure, I released some commitments and began to breathe. However, I still was feeling worn. As I stood in the worship room last night I found myself looking at a woman and wanting to pray for her. However, in just thinking of praying for this lady I began to cry myself. I am weak and I am worn. I need refreshing from Jesus.
The Bible says, "He gives power to the faint,
and to him who has no might he increases strength.
Even youths shall faint and be weary,
and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
they shall walk and not faint." (Isaiah 40:29-31) I am called to hold Jesus at His Word. As I thought about burn out I have thrown out the ideas- I need a 3
month vacation; I need to move back in with family for a year; I need a dog; I need to move to the country; etc. I had the thought that if I could only move, my burn out would be healed. Then, the more I thought about these ideas the more I would know that time away from work, moving, etc would not truly change the feelings of being worn. I need a full refreshing from Jesus. I need him to refresh my soul, to give me strength, to rise me up on the wings of eagles. So, I asked. Last night at the LIT (#LPMlit) Conference I asked. I got healed from the pain from my whiplash; and I have fresh hope and perspective in moving forward. I have a renewed unction to lean on God and not my own work; I have a renewed fear of going my way over God's way; of following a path out of distraction by good and not God's best.
I am choosing to start each day by leaning into my Father. By talking to my Savior. By receiving the comfort, the wisdom, and the revelation by the Spirit. I serve a Mighty God- a God who is for me and for His glory. A God who will not leave me nor forsake me. A God who calls me His. I am choosing to flee from burnout and eventual collapse by prioritizing the loving relationship with my God.
I will not fear the stillness. I will slow down. And in the slowing down, it is here that I will rise up on wings as eagles. My strength will be renewed. My God is for me. He is for you. I will hold him at His Word. I will WAIT.
forced_into_stillness.pdf |